Turning 25

I am turning 25 today and it really isn't as amazing as I would have thought it would be. I remember dreaming what my life would be like when I was 25. I am not where or how I dreamt I would be.

I had thought I would be doing some job that was a creative outlet (Makeup Artist, Illustrator, Designer, Etc) in a big city such as New York, London, or Tokyo.

I had thought I would have found the love of my life and would be oh so very happy with this person.

I thought I would have the fierce creative drive that I used to have, when I couldn't put a sewing needle, a paint brush, or a pencil down. That need to create beautiful things.

This is not the way things are currently, and it doesn't mean that I don't think there is still a chance for them to happen.

I think all the pieces would fall into place if I had my muse. I think that one true love would be my inspiration, my motivation. The flame to help spark my happiness and in turn my creativity.

I still have hope. I feel like the poor heart in the rain on a cement sidewalk pictured above. I was once beautiful flawless. Now I have slipped out of my original path onto the side lines. I've had my downs and have been stepped on. Some of my beautiful bright red has been scrapped of onto the cement, but most of it is still there shining. There is still hope that someone walking by might catch my shining red in the light and enjoy my beauty even if just for a moment, though I wish it were for longer.

The Human Experience

Why is it so hard to relate to another human being when supposedly we are all experiencing the "human experience" in our own particular place and time?

We all have our own opinion and outlooks on each aspect of life, but there are only so many different combinations of experience/opinions on it. There shouldn't be enough to where we all as human beings can't relate in one way or another.

Love really should be a universal feeling. I sometimes think that some people omit themselves from feeling it because it us really, truly such a vulnerable feeling.'

What if you put yourself "out there enough"to say you love someone, but they in return do not love you to the same effect? What if they merely only appreciate the fact that they were brave enough to love you...

To me loving is an aspect of bravery.

Few of us are brave enough to TRULY love someone else through thick, thin, good, bad, convenient, etv. Few of us love each other 24-7.

It is a hard thing to do, but it is a mandatory, necessary, invaluable, un-doable act for those that we truly love.

The ones you love always know they are loved. There is no reason to say it, but you do anyway.

You all know you are loved (or you should) Even if you don't know someone well. I think you can still care for them deeply

The reciprocation is the hard part. It is so hard loving and not necessarily being loved back in return.

So many times, loving someone else can be just enough. To see someone you love smile can be enough to fuel you to go on. The dream to make them happy is enough to go one.


<3

Can fellow humans relate?

really really wonders how we all can feel so alone, when we all seem to feel that way?



Wouldn't you latch onto, or at least relate to someone else who is feeling the same way?

So, which is it?

I feel so restless. Like a kid on their birthday waiting for their present, but I don't know its my birthday. I'm just waiting/wishing for something amazing.

In this case I do not know what constitutes amazing. I can't tell whether I feel like the last leaf hanging on in the Fall, or the first bud waiting to bloom in Spring.

Maybe Spring affects us all. It is, after all, only natural.

Disconnected

How is it that we are all so disjointed and disconnected?

We all do a lot of the same activites.... but everyone does them differently.

I sing my favorite Japanese song in the shower.

I love the smell of clean clothes, but hate doing laundry.

I like to eat ketchup and potato chips sometimes.

My heart hurts sometimes and then I think of all the good things I have going in my life.

I am very passionate about the things I like such as Asian Ball Jointed Dolls, Cosplay, Japanese Music.

I get hurt because I quickly trust my fellow humans.

I feel alone sometimes and then I remember the few precious people in my life that love me.