We both lost something we loved

We both lost something we "loved".

It's sad that yours was a painting, and mine a person.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was right....

I don't matter to you - and it all meant nothing

( 9158V) ~> ( 9328V)

The Art of My Heart

It was obvious in my work first, that only I cared.

It was one-sided and I couldn't see it.

Till the devastating end.

I was a pawn on your game, whether you realized it or not.

I had finally let myself trust my heart and what I felt.

You made me believe that you felt the same, or at least that you even gave the slightest shit.

I had finally let myself dream.

I dreamed of our future, even though it was uncertain.

I didn't dream of my success, your success, our house, our money, or any of those material things.

I dreamed of being by your side.

I wanted our forever.

I'm left with this...

GAPING

GROSS

UGLY

EXCRUCIATING

cavity in me....

ALL that is ME. 

My life, My heart, My hopes, 

My dreams, My happiness, My sanity, 

  

My everything 

 ME 

A friend told me this song in its entirety reminded him of me. It's beautiful 

- Thank you -

Goodbye my loved, precious person

My gaze was riveted to you only as you walked away

Goodbye to the me who cried until yesterday.

( 8937V) ~> ( 9158V)

Today is the birth day of my misery

How can I wish him happy birthday, when all he's brought me is misery. 

The worst pain and heartache of my life.

I can't even reach the safety of my own apartment each day before the tears overwhelm my strength. Every day I close my front door and crumple to the floor crying. Un-ending. It's all I can do to keep afloat and tie this mask on day after day.

To pretend to be OK.

To pretend that I don't need him

To pretend that I'm getting better

To pretend that I'm starting to hate him

Wishing I could hate him

Wishing I could forget him

"What good is a love... that no one shares

And if my life... is like the dust that hides the glow of a rose

then what good am I"

Can't this be like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I want it erased.

( 8803V) ~> ( 8937V)

The Hard Part

The thing that makes it so hard is not because I love you.

Its not because you were taken away, as most tragic love stories are written.

It's because you walked away.

( 8728V) ~> ( 8803V)

Congratulations

Obliterated

(Almost made it)

This, the only evidence left of my heart.

Gone - Never to feel again - pain or love.

 

Blank.

Numb.

 

Pointless.

Endless.

( 8412V) ~> ( 8728V)