Push

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You push me to go the extra mile
You push me when it's difficult to smile
You push me, a better version of myself
You push me, only you and no one else
You push me, see the other point of view
You push me when there's nothing else to do
You push me when I think I know it all
You push me when I stumble and I fall

Keep on pushin' like nobody

Every race I win, every mood I'm in
Everything I do, I owe it all to you
Every move I make, every step I take
Every thing I know, it's all because you push me

You push me when I don't appreciate
You push me not to lie and not to hate
You push me when I want it all to end
You push me when I really need a friend
You push me, all I wanna do is cry
You push me when it's time for me to try
You push me when I do it for myself
You push me, only you and no one else

Keep on pushin' like nobody

Every race I win, every mood I'm in
Everything I do, I owe it all to you
Every move I make, every step I take
Every thing I do, it's all because you push me

You push me

Keep on pushin' like nobody
Keep on, keep on

Every race I win (to go the extra mile)
Every mood I'm in (when it's difficult to smile)
Everything I do (a better version of myself)
Only you and only you and only you
Every move I make (see the other point of view)
Every step I take (when there's nothing else to do)
Every thing I do (when I think I know it all)
Only you and only you and only you

Every race I win (to go the extra mile)
Every mood I'm in (when it's difficult to smile)
Everything I do (a better version of myself)
I owe it all to you (only you and only you and only you)
Every move I make (see the other point of view)
Every step I take (when there's nothing else to do)
Every thing I know (when I think I know it all)
It's all because you push me

You push me

(Lyrics from Madonna's "Push")

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Who's gonna push me?

Who's gonna inspire me?

Who's gonna make me happy?

Who's gonna join in my world and help make it whole?

I need a creative jump start

I've realized happiness is the key to my creativity

I want to fill up sketchbooks like I used to

I want to have this burning creative passion that I used to have

( 4789V) ~> ( 4846V)

Leeloo finally found her one?

 

I think I might of found Leeloo's boyfriend. There are more pictures of him here

I just hope he sticks around and works out. 

I wonder just how tan he is. I think he might actually end up with some facial hair (who woulda ever thought!?)

He hasn't been released yet... and I think he will be limited... so I may end up having to get him on the marketplace =( Which really sucks because Castle Anne dolls aren't very popular and seem to be on the expensive side (For their size category)

I do wonder how their size comparison would be.... I found pictures of a Junior Girl next to a Minifee girl and the Minifee was smaller. So I think it would work great considering the picture of the girl and boy Juniors below.

Its funny how life gives you little signs =)

( 4631V) ~> ( 4789V)

Insatiable Hope

Sometimes I wish I didn't have this endless - insatiable - unappeasable - never ending - inexhaustable - discontented - unfulfilled - voracious - immeasurable - continuous - boundless - unsatisfied hope that wavers between "I'll find him" and "I've found him"

(DAMNED OCD)

It never seems the one I've "found" has the same feeling. It always seems like they've "settled" or are "forced" (like driver's ed class), or are just simply indifferent, but I'm never able to figure out what their mindset is. They never will open up and talk to me - even when I ask directly. I swear I'm more interesting, lovable, and amazing than that. I know I am a great catch (not perfect, but great)!

I'm glad I've never thought I've been the problem....I hope I never get to that point. Unless I somehow am the problem or part of it... but if that is the case I wish they'd tell me!

Or do I have an entertainment expiration date? My entertainment time length seems to shorten as I go through each new love interest. A tattoo'd bar code would be hilarious.

~*-*~

Won't I ever find someone that can't stop thinking about me? That tries so hard to make me smile? That can't wait for the next moment to be with me? That wants to know me, my passions, dreams, desires? Someone that it decisive on being with me. Someone that wants to share in each other's existence.

On the other side of this I am aware that I tend to be Queen Oblivious when it comes to flirting and such. I'm just a whole ball of confused, convoluted, confounded, bamboozled, perplexed, bewildered, shy, doubtful, and uncertain bafflement.

~*-*~

And I want to end by totally stealing from a dear friend's Tumblr page. 

"just afraid. I know I can love you."

*

"if this fails I am not going to lie, I will be completely crushed and though I know I will do one thing.  I will let it happen again until I am not crushed to oblivion."

( 4595V) ~> ( 4631V)

A photostory that hits close to home

So I figured why not post it here as well.....
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Link to my Photostory blog if wanted:

Here is an amazingly well done Vampire Princess Miyu AMV that I think goes well with this photostory.

Always thinking about Love

Leeloo: "I've always loved to cosplay.... its nice to be someone else for a while, someone I admire or envy."

Leeloo: "Miyu had Larva, someone who is always there for her. Someone who knows all her joys and sadness.

A comfortable strong embrace she can curl into.

I know its not realistic, but it certainly sounds nice.

Its dreams that keeps us really alive instead of existing right?"

"to long for each other"

"to flirt with each other"

"to love"

"to comfort me when needed"

"to cry with"

Leeloo: "You can always tell what I am thinking by looking at my drawings"

Leeloo: "Even if they are feelings I don't really feel comfortable conveying."

Leeloo: " I just can't help how I feel, and sometimes it comes out on paper."

 

Leeloo: "But I have hope that someone special will eventually fill my pages."

Leeloo: "I know the love I seek is out there..."

 

Leeloo: "that someone will understand, appreciate, and love my heart."

Leeloo: "that lingering hope is always there - it never dies for some reason. No matter what dissapointing, crushing blows my heart takes."

Leeloo: "I just draw whatever comes out"

Leeloo: "And often I amaze myself and love the simple beautiful things I create"

Leeloo: "I rarely find others that really appreciate the beauty in my works, but I love it when they do."

Leeloo: "They're like little messages sent out trying to reach 'you'.... wherever 'you' are"

Leeloo: "Can't I see you soon?"

Leeloo: "I miss you though I'm not sure I've found you"

Leeloo: <3

( 4434V) ~> ( 4595V)

Dream in the world

I had a startling epiphany today.

I think I may have met someone I dreamt of years ago.

Someone from a dream that I was able to wake from 

- and go back to -

I have never done that before, and have never since.

I went back to sleep and to that same dream because of sheer will.

I never really remember my dreams for more than 5 minutes or so....

but a lot of it is still vivid in my mind, especially this person and my emotions.

 This dream was left un-resolved. I don't know how it ended, whether it was a fairy-tale or a nightmare.

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

I feel a way of something beyond them
  I don't see what I can feel
if vision is the only validation
then most of my life isn't real

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

 'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
that it's all just a bunch of matter

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

(Lyrics pulled from Sam Sparro's Black and Gold)

( 4434V) ~> ( 4543V)