Stuck

I've had a lot of good things happen lately... but I still seem to get stuck on the few things that do frustrate me.

Maybe they aren't things that would be very important to other people, but they ruffle my feathers. I feel kind of distant from the friends I have and its mostly not any one particular party's fault. Schedules are crazy, things have happened, I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately.

I really miss my friends
I want my friends to be happy and healthy
I want to be happy
I want to be more motivated and on top of things
I want to be able to easily park my car
I want to weigh 120 lbs.
I wish some of my past hadn't happened. I wish this grey cloud wasn't always there.

Money doesn't solve as much as I once thought it did.

(144627V) ~> (14881V)

Looking Back a year

Looking back a year reminds me of what a terrifying time it was.

I feel like the last year shouldn't of happened, like I should have already been where I am now - then. Who would've known "I really thought I had found him. I still think I have." would end up being such a reality.

I found him, he left, another tried coming back for their own sinister intent and then left and hypocritically married another, a new one tried to swoop in, and then he came back having realized his mistake.


I took a chance again at the happiness I first envisioned months before. If I survived his heartbreak once, I could do it again. In fact this time I would be enraged instead of devastated and my anger is a frightful thing to behold.


I'm thankfully living that happiness so far but I also unwillingly live with a shadow of the past looming over my head. Sometimes I feel like an abuse victim that automatically flinches as an auto reflex to a hand reaching out to hug instead of hit. I can't help whats happened in the past - as much as I wish I could.

(14314V) ~> (14627V)

BJD Fun in the snow!

Fers!


Leeloo: Ooops!


<3 <3 <3



It was his idea for Leeloo to push XoXo into the snow!


I plopped XoXo in the snow and Fen and Kitty took care of the girls


Minifee snow plop aftermath


XoXo can't get a break!


My beautiful Switch

( 13467V) ~> ( 14314V)

A parade of Unicorns!

I got my Adamelli's and Shale in a few weeks ago... and have gotten two of the three done. I've never had to dremel and carve into new dolls this much... just to be able to put them together as they were "designed" to. Its a good thing I can do my own mod work!

Here is a video of my opening

Little Elipses's Faceup done to be a younger version of Big Elipses - my SOOM MD Heliot with the Default Faceup.

Here is Cortana - my Drag Queen conquerer and genius Entrepreneur. (Little Cortana is on the right... this is what Cortana turns to when she's angry)

Hope you enjoyed!

( 12157V) ~> ( 13467V)

Second Chances

I'm so scared.

I'm scared of not knowing how things will turn out

- of missing that chance of happiness I thought I had -

I'm scared of it happening all over again. It almost killed me before...

- but I have faith in myself, my loved ones, and my strength -

I'm scared of loosing my hope in a love forever

- loosing my faith in love's existence -

I'm scared you won't appreciate this second chance

 - that it will be forgotten over time -

I'm scared of being disappointed

( 11918V) ~> ( 12157V)