Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Today is the birth day of my misery

How can I wish him happy birthday, when all he's brought me is misery. 
The worst pain and heartache of my life.

Ashley-BJD-Photostory-2011-02-09-Leeloo-Valentines Nightmare - 14

I can't even reach the safety of my own apartment each day before the tears overwhelm my strength. Every day I close my front door and crumple to the floor crying. Un-ending. It's all I can do to keep afloat and tie this mask on day after day.

To pretend to be OK.

To pretend that I don't need him

To pretend that I'm getting better

To pretend that I'm starting to hate him

Wishing I could hate him

Wishing I could forget him

"What good is a love... that no one shares
And if my life... is like the dust that hides the glow of a rose
then what good am I"

Can't this be like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I want it erased.

( 8803V) ~> ( 8937V)


  1. Please hang in there! We're all rooting for you!

  2. Things will get better. It'll hurt now, true, but never give up hope.