*This is a re-post of a VERY old blog... that in my turbulent past I took down because I was upset. I shouldn't have taken down. I preach to myself personally about being who you are and feeling what you feel without being ashamed. *
Saturday, May 31, 2008
I can’t sleep and I need to.... ;_;
I miss Jesse so much. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. The cons and traveling have been fun, but allot of work. They have also been very emotionally taxing as well. Especially tonight.
I am used to having Jesse to cuddle up with to go to sleep and I haven’t since the 15th of May. We don’t talk allot because we are interested in very different subjects, but I have missed talking to him. On top of that we both don’t like talking on the phone.
It really hit me when I was going through iPhoto and found some old pictures of us. We looked really happy, and I realized we don’t have any current ones like that. We should smile more and take more photos together. The photo above is special for me because he wasn’t going to go on the trip that I went on and he decided later to drive 4 hours to surprise me. He brought me a flower he picked on the side of the road. That was the best flower I ever got, other than the one he made for me out of networking cable. That was just too techy cute.
Sure I am off doing neat new things, enjoying 3 conventions in a row (when normally I only get to enjoy them like once every 3 years), making new friends, buying things I had only dreamed of, seeing all the hot cosplayers, but you don’t realize how great someone is till they are gone. I realize I have taken him and our relationship for granted and I want to correct that. I really love him with all my heart.
hopefully now I can sleep... I’m gonna try to again... wish me luck.