Saturday, January 31, 2009

Is it horrible of me to wish for a perfect life?


Plans for the day:
1) See Pin Pon Dash play in concert

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) I've had this stupid headache all day

Positives for the day:
1) Get to see Pin Pon Dash play

I had a lot of thinking time and I was just thinking of what my ideal perfect life is. In saying this I do not mean that my life currently isn't great, but everyone can dream of heaven right?

Wish I had a job that paid enough to where I could live downtown Seattle comfortably enough to buy the doll stuff I want(in moderation of course), go out for coffee or dinner whenever I want, pay off all my debt. (If I really wanted to get crazy Id say that I also wish I had enough to take trips to the USA East Coast, Europe, and Japan every few months) or to fly my family out here, go to as many conventions as I want.

I also wish I had a job that allowed me to have my own office space that I could decorate(bring my dolls into work so I could play with them during lunch). A Job that had better hours like 8-5 or 7-4. A job that I loved doing (I actually like my job for the most part now, except the pay and hours)

I really wish I could find a friend who was into BJD's as much as I am. I do really appreciate my friends interest in my hobby but I'd love to have someone who was also active in the hobby as well. Then perhaps I would be more motivated to make things for my dolls, take more photos, do more photo stories. I just feel so alienated from the rest of the human population because I have such "unique" interests and this is an issue I keep running into.

I wish I knew what to do about my interpersonal relationships. They all seem to be filled with drama or confusion save a few (OMG.K.TANX). I don't really quite know how to word the feeling I am having to where it doesn't come across insensitive, but I just tend to be a logical being (in which I am realizing most other people are not) I just tend to have this feeling of guilt to either continue relationships or just ignore whatever drama may be happening. It shouldn't feel like a chore to be around people in your life. I have this crazy dream that one day I will live in a place where my world is a lot like the tv show Friends. I have my best friends right next door and we get coffee all the time, can watch movies, etc. There isn't any of the stress of scheduling, we'd make time for each other. Whether that simply meant we txt'd a "How are you?" or made plans for the whole weekend to have a blast spending the while weekend together. Where hanging out is simple as walking next door and knocking or a simple phone call.

The perplexities I keep having with those around me are not always induced by them or me. Im not pointing fingers, just thinking out loud on my digital paper. They often can be caused by lifestyles.

If this even gets read I really hope this isn't taken the wrong way by those around me. I don't really care to be verbally attacked because of this. As I said before it is just unfiltered thoughts on paper. Writing it down really makes me feel better.

Friday, January 30, 2009

An EXCITING weekend ahead.

On the bus

Plans for the day:
1) Make it through work
2) try not to drop my laptop while this bad bus driver heaves and ho's her way to my work.
3) find out how the fudge to bus to Pete and Jamie's (I don't remember!)
4) Decide what she is going to purchase next.... the dolls, Cosplay stuff for Linnear, or faceup stuff from Junkyspot.

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) This bus driver stinks at driving...... and thats sad because its in her job description.
2) My package has been held back by customs!!! @_@ so does that mean I wont get it on Monday? so very /CRY

Positives for the day:
1) Got to see Sean
2) Will get to see Jamie, Pete, Jen tonight.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I cant think of a title X_x

Photo 1

Plans for the day:
1) J@i1br3@k my iPhone
2) Pay Bils
3) Make some decisions

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) I should have set my alarm 10 minutes later than it was.Not only had I dreamt that I had gotten my order from Fairyland early, but I also had magically gotten an order from Dollmore (which I haven't really ordered from) and was just about to open the boxes when my alarm woke me up.

Positives for the day:
1) I got another day of work to earn more of a paycheck, to pay off bills, save for a trip to the east coast, save for a trip to Japan, save for Doll stuff, and to save for the future.

I don't really know what to write about, all the things swimming around in my head are really things not meant for blogging on the world of the internets. They have nothing to do with anyone else but myself. Hmm.

I did get my doll spreadsheet done for the most part and it is ridiculous how much all of the items cost together... over $14,000! But, $10,000 of that is 18 dolls(which I already own one of them, and some are special edition dolls) so I don't think it is that as unreasonable. I have to figure out how I want to have it organized.... I think I will have one master sheet, and then sheets based on the master sheet that are for each individual store (Dollmore, Luts, Fairyland, etc).

I also have to figure out my next purchases.

~I hopefully have a doll meet coming up in which I can buy stuff for Linnear or Gaius and LeeLoo.
~I have to buy my pass for Sakura-con
~my wig for Yuki,
~make my artemis staff
~Save up for a ticket to fly home
~I want to order the stuff from Dollmore to make Linnear's Kaname outfit.
~Order a good bit of Mr. Superclear from Junkyspot so I can customize Gaius and LeeLoo when they get here.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Goddamn, why do simple things have to be complicated?

Photo 2

Angry face ^

Plans for the day:
1) Figure out how to make her life less stressful, and more happy again.
2) Survive another day of work again.
3) Check on her Fairyland order
4) Figure out what she will order from Dollmore (For Linnear's Cosplay)

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) I really wish I could be in two places at once
2) Scheduling with other people
3) People being pissy - and you can't cheer them up.
4) My effin .avi's wont play on my mac right (well some of them.... YES I know this is a PC format..... I converted to mac)

Positives for the day:
1) Miyavi's "Itoshii Hito" started playing at just the right time. Its the song I needed to hear.
2) I didn't forget my bus pass.

I've got some really exciting events coming up!

-Friday Januar 30th - Work then hang out with Pete and Jennifer!
-Saturday January 31st - Pin Pon Dash concert
-Sunday Feb 1st - Doing makeup for Elle's photo shoot

-Friday Feb 6th - Secret mission to take over the world with Retta

-Friday Feb 13th through Sunday Feb 15th - Valentines Day weekend.... I don't get to know what is going on. lol Yay Surprises!

-Saturday Feb 21 - Hopefully I get to go to a doll meetup in Lynnwood! *crosses fingers*
-Sunday Feb 22 - Another Tattoo appointment for Sean. Wee!

So my day has plummeted to a new low and Im not gonna let it! So that means its time for me to do the things that are fun for me! Woo~~~~

*and please don’t ask what is gone wrong. I still have my job, Im still healthy, and I’m not totally broke.*

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The adventures of being an adult

Blame Photobooth for no photo at the moment
Photo 2

Plans for the day:
1) Eat breakfast ASAP! I'm hungry!!!

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) My stupid iSight has started acting up. It isn't recognized as a camera with photobooth like 90% of the time. 2% of the time restarting photobooth fixes it, the other 98% of the time I have to reboot my laptop. SO annoying.
2) I have ramen to eat for lunch T-T

Positives for the day:
1) One more day closer to getting my Minifee parts and outfits.
2) I get to have a cup of coffee and oatmeal when I get to work.

Today's Topic:
Being an adult, and how it can really suck and/or rock.

Reasons why I love being an adult:
1) being able to stay up as late as you want (and then reaping the effects of such the next day at work T-T)
2) being able to have your own place thats all for you.
3) Being able to decorate like you want.
4) Making your own decisions for your own life - living like you choose, not how others want you to.
5) Making your own money
6) Spending $6 on a cup of coffee and loving every sip of it.

Reasons why I dislike being an adult:
1) having to pay bills
2) its now even harder to find friends who have an imagination, some sense of youth, fantasy, adventure in them, and friends that actually stick with you.
3) having to plan things... Everything has to be routine.
4) making your own doctor appointments and such
5) kids... bleh! You run into them a lot more as an adult... more people have them, talk about them, are obsessed with them.
6) Its so hard to let go on a day off and not think about the things you "should" be doing, if you aren't already doing so (Laundry, Paying Bills, Dishes, Organizing, Studying for Certifications). I find it hard to just let go and watch movies all day, lay in bed all day, surf the net all day, watch people at a coffee shop, etc.

I wasn't consciously coming up with an equal number of reasons why I like or dislike being an adult. I just wrote them down as they came to me. I am kinda comforted by the fact that they ended up balancing out. To me that means that maybe my life is going right, maybe I am the way I am supposed to be.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What a day. I wonder what it will be like


Song of the Day:
Artist: Miyavi
Song: Itoshii Hito (Important Person)
Album: ?

Plans for the day:
1) See how work goes
2) Finish Battlestar so she can give the first season back to Zack
3) Do one happy thing
4) Much less Kevetching..... It doesn't solve anything.
5) Call and schedule my Doctor's Appointment

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) I forgot my effin bus pass again... there goes $3 down the drain *sigh* I'l never get my Minifee's at this rate

Positives for the day:
1) I had change in my bag just in case I forgot my bus pass. =^_^= Yay Me!
2) Today is Sean and I's 3 month anniversary.
3) I feel better today than I did yesterday.

Subject: Relationships

I have begun to find that a majority of relationships end up being one sided. Its always that one person needs something from the other. Every relationship comes from want or need, but unfortunately most relationships are not equal in this want/need of the other person. Many times it is one-sided. Now as I say this (and this being my 3 month anniversary with Sean I am not reflecting upon our relationship) please know that I am speaking in general.

Well my bus is almost to work! Chat with you cats later

So work is over again. Yay I survived! And Yay my bus was on time.

*Made first BJD Photostory!*

Friday, January 16, 2009

I totally have a case of the "Fridays"

Photo 1

Plans for the day:
1) Survive another day of work.
2) Maybe seen Elle and Sean?
3) Organize photos in iPhoto
4) Vlog

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) Cramping sucks!
2) My Fairyland order is probably sill "pre-shipping" status.

Positives for the day:
1) One more day closer to my doll stuff
2) I got to try a CUTE apron on Linnear. I'll have to post pictures. They are to *die*for

So I didn't quite get to take over the world, but I did get to paint some last night. Its amazing how having another artist around can be motivational if not inspiring. Oren was working on a very nice drawing of Linnear! It was awesome. I also tend to be music inspired as well and I ended up loosing myself(in a good way) when I was listening to some video I took of my best friend Elle Harris playing her version of "Kokoro" by the Slants and also her own original song "What I have lost". I haven't gotten to see her in a few weeks and it really sucks. My work schedule has changed and it has really affected my social life during the week, also Elle has been really busy lately with new Photography opportunities (Good for you Elle!), but I do miss just simple hang out time to watch Vampire Knight, Miyavi videos, and have photo sessions with Linnear.

It'll be ok. When she is a famous photographer for all the idols in Japan I'll get to be the makeup artist. I cant wait to blush Gackt or Miyavi's asses. lol

To did not start out so well (though it could ALWAYS be worse) and it has slowly gotten better through the day(at least for me anyway, I can't say that for some of my co-workers) I woke up really groggy and was just plain tired (and cramping). I almost missed my bus to work. I got to work and my badge wouldn't let me in so I had to putz around with the receptionist to get in and fix my badge. My wireless headset for answering the phone was totally fubar'd for 3/4 the day so I had to use a poopy wired one. I forgot to bring lunch to work. I finally got my headset working(a positive!!) when I had to move up front(where I can not use my headset and can only use a wired one). A couple of co-workers of mine were transfered or let go.

Today has started to end well though. I was not one of the people let go (haha.... *sigh*) My bus home was actually on time. And finally have a three day weekend as I am off work on Monday. Woo!!

*Video Blog* Vlog-BJD-Fairyland Order!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The start of my Journal I hope to keep up.

Photo 8

Thursday January 15 2009

Photo of the Day:
Photo 4

Plans for the day:
1) Survive Work - Icky day of sitting at the Front Desk from 10 am to 7 pm
2) Meet up with Oren(and take over the world)
3) Play with Linnear at some point today as I've brought him with me in my bag to work. Regretted not having him when Oren and I went and say Twilight last week.

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) Sleepy from staying up till 1am cleaning @_@

Positives for the day:
1) Free food at work from yesterday (Sandwich, Lemon Poppy Seed Muffin, Coffee Cake, sugar cookie)
2) One day closer to getting my Doll stuff in the mail!

So I decided I want to try and blog on the bus in the morning while I have about ~30 minutes of free time. Having my wonderful blue Macbook Pro really helps in this endeavor (Of course the fact that it is blue is the most helpful).

This entry wont be very long as I have spent a good bit of my bus time just getting things going (testing that copy and pasting form here to iWeb gets the photos too, actually getting my iSight to work *shakes fist at it*, Deciding the format of things, getting good groove music going)