Saturday, January 31, 2009

Is it horrible of me to wish for a perfect life?


Plans for the day:
1) See Pin Pon Dash play in concert

Kevetch for the day: (To complain persistently and whiningly)
1) I've had this stupid headache all day

Positives for the day:
1) Get to see Pin Pon Dash play

I had a lot of thinking time and I was just thinking of what my ideal perfect life is. In saying this I do not mean that my life currently isn't great, but everyone can dream of heaven right?

Wish I had a job that paid enough to where I could live downtown Seattle comfortably enough to buy the doll stuff I want(in moderation of course), go out for coffee or dinner whenever I want, pay off all my debt. (If I really wanted to get crazy Id say that I also wish I had enough to take trips to the USA East Coast, Europe, and Japan every few months) or to fly my family out here, go to as many conventions as I want.

I also wish I had a job that allowed me to have my own office space that I could decorate(bring my dolls into work so I could play with them during lunch). A Job that had better hours like 8-5 or 7-4. A job that I loved doing (I actually like my job for the most part now, except the pay and hours)

I really wish I could find a friend who was into BJD's as much as I am. I do really appreciate my friends interest in my hobby but I'd love to have someone who was also active in the hobby as well. Then perhaps I would be more motivated to make things for my dolls, take more photos, do more photo stories. I just feel so alienated from the rest of the human population because I have such "unique" interests and this is an issue I keep running into.

I wish I knew what to do about my interpersonal relationships. They all seem to be filled with drama or confusion save a few (OMG.K.TANX). I don't really quite know how to word the feeling I am having to where it doesn't come across insensitive, but I just tend to be a logical being (in which I am realizing most other people are not) I just tend to have this feeling of guilt to either continue relationships or just ignore whatever drama may be happening. It shouldn't feel like a chore to be around people in your life. I have this crazy dream that one day I will live in a place where my world is a lot like the tv show Friends. I have my best friends right next door and we get coffee all the time, can watch movies, etc. There isn't any of the stress of scheduling, we'd make time for each other. Whether that simply meant we txt'd a "How are you?" or made plans for the whole weekend to have a blast spending the while weekend together. Where hanging out is simple as walking next door and knocking or a simple phone call.

The perplexities I keep having with those around me are not always induced by them or me. Im not pointing fingers, just thinking out loud on my digital paper. They often can be caused by lifestyles.

If this even gets read I really hope this isn't taken the wrong way by those around me. I don't really care to be verbally attacked because of this. As I said before it is just unfiltered thoughts on paper. Writing it down really makes me feel better.

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