I generally am a very easy to please person, but lately I just have been..... disgruntled? dissatisfied? disappointed?
They all sound too negative and way more serious than it really is. I waver between how much they weigh on me daily. Some days are much worse than others.
My head was so full of thoughts this morning, I thought I had gotten on the wrong bus to get to work and thus if I had to get off and find a new route I would have probably been at least an hour late AND I hate being late for things.... its one of my pet-peeves.
And really, when I think about it... a lot of my frustrations lately are just my fault. Not necessarily that I am the source but they are all things I could bring up, things I could start to change... Its all just a simple point of having the confidence to. Some of those things aren't even things that should bother most people, but they do bother me. The hardest ones are the ones that don't just affect me.
One of my stupid silly things is my want to do crazy things with my hair.... but I can't because of work (at least I assume so.... I haven't really asked. I guess all they could do is say no)
I need to figure out what I want and how the heck I'm gonna get there. Then I need to have the gumption to follow through on it and hope it all works out.
There are so many things I want
I want to live in a different place.
Preferably Capitol Hill Area
(Yay for Darby, Art Stores, Dollie time, Craft time, Coffee Shops, and Parks)
The Belltown Area
(Yay for being near the Needle, shopping, and eventually near work)
I want to be more creative.
I want something of my own creation to be beautiful and inspirational. I want to be inspired to do my own makeup/hair/dress up more.
I want to do more Doll customization like below
I want to paint more physical 2-D paintings like the one below:
I want to work on more Digital work with a Cintiq 12WX like the ones below
I want to look like the me that is in my head.
I want to be back at my ~120 lbs again.
I want to feel comfortable wearing spaghetti strap tops again
I want to look good in anything again.
I want to get my hair done regularly (maybe a short style, or a long scene style) Or learn to do it myself!
(Yay for DIY)
Once Upon a time, I wanted to be like this (bright and colorful)
Now I think I want to be something a little more like this
(maybe wear colorful color extensions on the weekends)
Or Maybe like this (except have black dreads)
Tragus (both sides done - my left is already done)
bottom lobe gauged to 00 probably
( ?V) ~> (?V)