A photostory that hits close to home

So I figured why not post it here as well.....
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Link to my Photostory blog if wanted:

Here is an amazingly well done Vampire Princess Miyu AMV that I think goes well with this photostory.

Always thinking about Love

Leeloo: "I've always loved to cosplay.... its nice to be someone else for a while, someone I admire or envy."

Leeloo: "Miyu had Larva, someone who is always there for her. Someone who knows all her joys and sadness.

A comfortable strong embrace she can curl into.

I know its not realistic, but it certainly sounds nice.

Its dreams that keeps us really alive instead of existing right?"

"to long for each other"

"to flirt with each other"

"to love"

"to comfort me when needed"

"to cry with"

Leeloo: "You can always tell what I am thinking by looking at my drawings"

Leeloo: "Even if they are feelings I don't really feel comfortable conveying."

Leeloo: " I just can't help how I feel, and sometimes it comes out on paper."

 

Leeloo: "But I have hope that someone special will eventually fill my pages."

Leeloo: "I know the love I seek is out there..."

 

Leeloo: "that someone will understand, appreciate, and love my heart."

Leeloo: "that lingering hope is always there - it never dies for some reason. No matter what dissapointing, crushing blows my heart takes."

Leeloo: "I just draw whatever comes out"

Leeloo: "And often I amaze myself and love the simple beautiful things I create"

Leeloo: "I rarely find others that really appreciate the beauty in my works, but I love it when they do."

Leeloo: "They're like little messages sent out trying to reach 'you'.... wherever 'you' are"

Leeloo: "Can't I see you soon?"

Leeloo: "I miss you though I'm not sure I've found you"

Leeloo: <3

( 4434V) ~> ( 4595V)

Dream in the world

I had a startling epiphany today.

I think I may have met someone I dreamt of years ago.

Someone from a dream that I was able to wake from 

- and go back to -

I have never done that before, and have never since.

I went back to sleep and to that same dream because of sheer will.

I never really remember my dreams for more than 5 minutes or so....

but a lot of it is still vivid in my mind, especially this person and my emotions.

 This dream was left un-resolved. I don't know how it ended, whether it was a fairy-tale or a nightmare.

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

I feel a way of something beyond them
  I don't see what I can feel
if vision is the only validation
then most of my life isn't real

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

 'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
that it's all just a bunch of matter

~~~~~~~~*****---*---*****~~~~~~~~

(Lyrics pulled from Sam Sparro's Black and Gold)

( 4434V) ~> ( 4543V)

Thought Provoking Questions

A good friend linked me to a post of illustrated "thought provoking questions"

I really admired a few of the questions and thought I'd answer some of them.

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

-I would say I would be 19 most of the time - full of hopes and a few anxieties. Stars in my eyes most of the time.

"If you had an opportunity to get a message across a large group of people - what would that message be?"

-LOVE

"Is it possible to lie without saying a word"

-Absolutely. Its one of the worst - most painful - kind of lies

"If not now...... then when?"

-Never (would be my answer... but not what I would intend to do). Now is the best time. I'm trying to capture the moment, but it requires bravery. Some days I have more armor than others.

"What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?"

-I would dye my hair blue and eventually have silky braids, pierce my labre and septum(referring to judgment at work).

"Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?"

-I have a lot of love to give - I just gotta find the other half of me that feels the same way.

"Have you done anything lately worth remembering?"

-I had an amazing time with many of my closest friends. There were some amazing bonding moments (especially in the kitchen. lol)

"Who do you love? What are you doing about it?"

-There are many people I love - I try to remind them of this, and be there for them no matter what.

"Do you Celebrate the things you do have?"

-Absolutely! I often try to remind myself to be uber thankful for the wonderful life, friends, family, and things I have.

"Which activites make you loose track of time?"

-BJD Meets, Time with Friends, sleeping, painting, crafting, playing with my dollies, crying, cleaning, jamming, blogging, video editing....

"If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?"

-Hell no! My past has helped make me who I am. My pain has helped me appreciate my pleasure. What hasn't killed me has made me stronger. Even though its not perfect, I love my life the way it is - and have ambitions for the future.

=======================================================

So there you have it, my introspective thoughts for the day.

Thanks for the link Keekster.

<3

( 4360V) ~> ( 4434V)

If I had you...

I have a good feeling for the future

=^_____^=

And I've always believed that being positive brings positive results.

*side note*... I miss having the sides of my head shaved *see video above*

( 4358V) ~> ( 4360V)

Doll inventory (just heads/bodies)

So like.. Oh my goodness...

I was asked to do an inventory of the dolls I have and man... I didn't realize I had so much (here and on the way...) Sorry I don't have pictures for them all...

Currently Owned:
SOOM - Euclase

SOOM - Heliot (Unicorn)

SOOM - Heliot (Human - need body)

SOOM - Sphaler

SOOM - Beyla

Cereberus Project - Nanuri 07

Cereberus Project - Shine

Doll In Mind - Miyavi (Need Body)

Iplehouse - Ryan (Being Sold to Keekster)

Cereberus Project - Kyle OE(Canceled by DDE)

Cereberus Project - Juri 08 OE (need body)

Cereberus Project - Karsh OE

Cereberus Project - Shushu OE

Cereberus Project - El OE (Minifee)
Cereberus Project - Lishe OE (Minifee) (Lum and Caprica set)

Cereberus Project - Scar Shiwoo OE (need body)
Cereberus Project - Scar Breakaway OE (Body on the way)
Cereberus Project - Ante OE (Littlefee)

Cereberus Project - El OE (Littlefee) (Hopefully selling/trading)

Cereberus Project - Ruby OE

Cereberus Project - Ante OE (Puki)

Cereberus Project - PongPong OE


Heads I have outside of this list that are secondary heads for dolls listed above and aren't seen a lot of the time:
SOOM-Euclase sleeping head w/ crazy ears
SOOM-Beyla - Human head
Cereberus Project - Luwen vampire head (will be a secondary head for Nanuri 07 after modding)
Cereberus Project - 2 X Summer 2010 event M-HEADs (On the way)
Cereberus Project - Kyle was going to have his sleeping head...but canceled by DDE
Cereberus Project - Karsh Sleeping head
Cereberus Project - Shushu Sleeping head
Cereberus Project - El (Minifee) sleeping head
Cereberus Project - Lishe (Minifee) OE and sleeping head for Lum set
Cereberus Project - Lishe (Minifee) OE and sleeping head on the way (Lum's Caprica set)
Cereberus Project - Ante sleeping x 2 (Littlefee)
Cereberus Project - Ante winking (Littlefee)
Cereberus Project - El sleeping (Littlefee) (Hopefully selling/trading)
Cereberus Project - Ruby Sleeping
Cereberus Project - Ante sleeping (Puki)
Cereberus Project - PongPong sleeping
Cereberus Project - Pumpkin head

Want to get to complete what I already have:
Cereberus Project - Scar Breakaway Sleeping set (Body on the way)
Cereberus Project - Scar Shiwoo Sleeping set (need body)
Cereberus Project - Shushu OE and sleeping heads (+ body for Juri 09)
Cereberus Project - Shiwoo OE and sleeping heads (+ body for Scar Shiwoo)

===========================================================
And I may as well add in the dolls I want and will to get that I don't already have bits for

Souldoll Shiva (4-arm) (Grey skin)
Un-determined Minifee to dye black for Karma
Dollzone - Yuu (Tan)
Cereberus Project - Delf - El (Normal Skin)
Cereberus Project - Delf - El (Tan Skin)
Cereberus Project - Delf - El  (White Skin)
SOOM - MD - Chalco (Tan) - *maybe*
SOOM - MA - Saiph Boy (NS or WS)
Dollmore - Lusion - Black Dahlia
Un-determined Minifee mold for Mana
Un-determined mold for my all white "beauty" doll

( 4272V) ~> ( 4358V)