Looking back a year reminds me of what a terrifying time it was.
I feel like the last year shouldn't of happened, like I should have already been where I am now - then. Who would've known "I really thought I had found him. I still think I have." would end up being such a reality.
I found him, he left, another tried coming back for their own sinister intent and then left and hypocritically married another, a new one tried to swoop in, and then he came back having realized his mistake.
I took a chance again at the happiness I first envisioned months before. If I survived his heartbreak once, I could do it again. In fact this time I would be enraged instead of devastated and my anger is a frightful thing to behold.
I'm thankfully living that happiness so far but I also unwillingly live with a shadow of the past looming over my head. Sometimes I feel like an abuse victim that automatically flinches as an auto reflex to a hand reaching out to hug instead of hit. I can't help whats happened in the past - as much as I wish I could.
(14314V) ~> (14627V)